we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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