Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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