Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i wish my penis had a tongue
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
