Its about making memories worth repressing
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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