So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
