I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
