I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
