I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
