Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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