there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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