Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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