D3 body, D1 cock
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
