Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
