is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
