does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
