Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
