his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
