My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
