I love black thongs
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
