As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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