YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
