you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
