did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
