Do you still have your period?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
