my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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