just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
