everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
