guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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