Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
