The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
