I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
All the doctor said was why
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
