take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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