The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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