Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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