it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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