I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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