no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i drank out of a bidet.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
