She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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