I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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