We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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