are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
