i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
