I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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