I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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