oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
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