If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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