Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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