What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
