he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
