Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
