your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
