am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
