Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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