I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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