I think I died a long time ago.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
