I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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