we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
