nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
