He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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