Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
