and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
