i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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