how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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