Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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