East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
love makes seman taste better
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I'm really busy with my period
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